Today I began the next chapter of my academic career. After graduating from Columbia Bible College, the goal was always to go on for further study – I love the classroom experience, and the wrestling-out of God’s truth through and with His people. It’s strange, you know – it’s only been just over a year since I graduated from CBC, and already it feels like a lifetime ago. I felt rusty sitting in the orientation classroom. It was almost as if I didn’t belong. The old nervous anxiety began to grow in the pit of my stomach, that feeling I get when I think I’m alone in a crowd full of people. It gnaws at you. It’s subtle, but there. I know this will pass in time, and that in time I will slip back into those comfortable academic shoes once again… but for now, it feels strange.
I love my bus ride. I take the #14 all the way from East Hastings to UBC, passing through downtown, up Granville, along Broadway, and through Kits before arriving at my destination. I don’t know if any bus carries such a wide variety of people. I wonder what that upper-middle-class student in a 300$ track suit would say if she knew her seat had been occupied by a heroin addict just twenty minutes earlier. Life is strange, sometimes.
We create these bubbles, and rarely move outside of them. Such is true even in the DTES. I love traveling through bubbles – maybe because I don’t feel really comfortable in any of them. I often feel like an Observer, slightly different from everyone else, watching as if I were an alien or some far-future version of humanity. Not more intelligent, just different. I have no idea if that’s normal or completely bizarre.
Next week classes start for real, and then we’ll see if this madness is actually going to work or not. Hopefully God’s got a plan in all this, because I’m not sure if I do anymore!